Monday, May 30, 2005


Sure glad I didn't know what was coming my way a year ago - or worse two years ago. I probably would have just said, "Thanks, but no thanks." This is getting worse than a shaggy dog story that goes on and on. My saving grace may well be that I keep looking for the silver lining and sometimes even seeing evidence that it is there. Yes, thank you Lynne - you have been a huge part of this process. And I did hear Bernie in person years ago - I remember him well. You only have to meet a "Bernie" once!

My Internest tells me that the "latest" saga from the test results is that I have "drug-indused" Diabetes and something..something..about Thyroid off (I'll tackle that later this week). One new drug at a time, please. So, high sugar can cause fatique, weekness, lots of things I've been whinning about. I really am glad to hear that once again help is on the way. It's just pitty-pot time again, I guess.

Wish I could get over one thing before the next one hits. It would be great to be up and out of the wheelchair, standing on my own. How does that go? It isn't the thousand mile walk - it's the grain of sand in my shoe.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Remember Nod?

Way back in Feb. I had great plans to fly over to Phoenix to meet up with my brother and his wife. We were going to have a week or so playing tourists. Due to our various health conditions I gave us all nasty little nick-names. My wonderful sister-in-law I named Gimpy because she has two bum knees. My brother was Nod, only because he occasionally needs oxygen, and me Limpy because I'd just lost the use of my right leg. I ended up staying home.

Okay, you know I can't tell the short version of any story - so, my brother hates So.Calif. with a passion you wouldn't believe. When Gimpy called and said they were considering a visit I really worried that one of us might be a lot sicker than I thought. And, of course, since I've been the designated patient of late, I checked with Nurse Sis to make sure I was okay.

Last Wed. night they arrived - amid more fussing and fuming about weather - air quality - crazy drivers - people - smog - etc. etc. etc.

Oh joy!!! we shouted. But in less than an hour Nod had it out of his system and we all had a wonderful time. We laughed, put puzzles together, went gambling!!! ate too much. They lifted my spirits - thought I was doing great and instilled a new hope for my future. They want me to visit them in Nev. in Oct. - with walker only - no wheelchair. They'll keep their fingers crossed - and I have a new goal.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

First Time

First time I've been to my computer since the last time I Blogged!

First time I've allowed myself to do absolutely nothing - no trying - no holding my breathe and pushing forward..

First time I feel some energy perking it's Easter chick head out of the shell...

First time - in a very long time - I've remembered Bernie Siegel, M.D. and the concept of integrative healing in mind, body and spirit.

First time I've made myself count all that is RIGHT with my body when I first wake up.

First time I've felt like I'm on the right path. I am not going to wait for my next MRI or PET/Scan..I'm tired of running scared..

Love and Light, Mom

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Catching Up

Boy, now that's what I'd call sleep. I've been awake the last four days long enough to eat, hit the bathroom and turn over. What I haven't been talking about are all the nights I could only sleep an hour or two - and then be awake for hours, restless, hyped up, mind racing, driving myself crazy with stupid thought of cleaning out my closet, hanging drapes, writing scores of music. Some nights I'd see entire symphonies going across pages - too bad I had no ability - in my semi-dream state - or in reality to write any of this down.

I know that my immune system needs a minimum of hours to repair itself - and I know I've been way under that goal. Perhaps this is the beginning of a new kind of healing. Being in bed this long is worrysome. We don't want me to lose any more muscle mass, but on the other hand the swelling is going down in my right foot.

You know I'm trying for balance and making this up as I go along. I will call the internist tomorrow and check in. In the meantime - feels like a nap coming my way. Night-night.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005


Mom is catching up on her sleep right now.

We saw a fabulous internist who gave her a new prescription, and now she's able to sleep a full night without waking up for the first time in a year. But she's thinking about you all and wanted you to know.

XO, kid sis