Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Spitin' Tacks Mad

Did you ever get so pissed off you wanted to yell some great clever obscenities into the phone and finish with,"and I'll never call YOU again."?

Well, that's what I WANTED to do but I need to get into that office - so, I just said, "Fine, FAX me the questionnaire." My pain management doc finally recommended that I see an acupuncturist. He wrote me out a prescription and everything. Said I was ready. After months and months of blocking nerves, buckets full of different pills, and pain up to the Ying-Yang I was finally good to go.

I was really excited. This was going to be my first chance to start rebuilding my overworked immune system. It was going to give me increased energy and a sense of well-being. Look out Lance, I might even buy a bike!!! All I had to do was pick a time.

Today I finally got the gatekeeper on the phone. 1st clue I was new - I couldn't say the doctor's name - it was three stupid letters long and I couldn't pronounce it! Admitting I was a new patient after that seemed redundant. BUT, I was only new to that particular office - I'd been in their computer system since July. So - HA! - When can I come in?

She HA-HA'd me right back - I still needed to fill out their questionnaire. Even if I had a Pt. I.D. Number, my insurance had not changed since August, all my medical records were available at the touch of a screen - SHE had to receive my FAXED answers and decide if I was "Acupuncture worthy". If I'd had a needle, at that point I swear I'd have started looking for my own points.

FAX arrives at 4:20. Two pages long. Date - Name - Home address - Work address, E-Mail...
Four lines about my insurance coverage - Pt. I.D number....
Page -2- Past diagnosis - other problems - medicines ...
Want a copy of my insurance cards (I'd have to go Kinko's in the morning for that).

THESE PEOPLE NEED LIVES - they need places to go and people to see - they need to put my four digit number into that stupid computer and watch it go to town!!! They need to stop driving patients absolutely flippin' mad.

They do want to know my treatment goals. Obviously my goal is to get well and NEVER, ever fill out my name, rank and serial number for this organization again.

Whew! This helped a little - sending the FAX back tomorrow should help more and by the time I have the appointment with the doctor I won't remember... wait ... this sounds like childbirth!


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