Friday, January 28, 2005

Buckets Are In Place

It's raining. No big deal? Then you don't have a roof that is leaking like a sieve. Three little unlicensed men have been up there, crawling around so far, various products in tow. Tar, more tar and silicone have yet to stop the rain water. So, I got the buckets out of their resting place in the bathtub and am sitting here waiting for my ceiling to start dripping.

This reminds me of being in the "Chemo" chair - looking up at the I.V. - waiting for the toxic mixture to start its slow drip into my body. It was terrifying to think of allowing this poison in. I was doing this of my own free will. I saw the caution nurses used in handling the solutions. I knew I had to work on my fears so that the chemo could do its job.

I sought out any old friend, Dr. Tony Madrid. He is one of the most fantastic people I've had the privilege of knowing both professionally and personally. He is also a top hypnotherapist. Together, in only a couple of sessions, we worked out a plan which I used for every Chemo treatment.

Here are some highlights: Let the nurses access my Port. Get my pillow, water, blanket and get nested. Relax by taking some slow deep breaths. When I could feel myself calming down I would start imagining myself as an internal traffic director. Green light meant the Chemo was suppose to travel along that "road" Red light meant it was going to far, invading too many good blood cells.

In my minds eye I had control of my treatment. In reality, I had no idea exactly where the Chemo was in my blood stream at the moment - or where it should be. Maybe it was all about CONTROL - because, as God knows, I am a control freak. Tony knew someone who actually did his thesis on something like: the great effects Chemo can have if the patient is positive about treatment.

I'm sure, if this is an issue for you or someone you know receiving Chemo, it could be looked up. If anyone knows more about this - please share.

In Chapter 11, of mom's cancer, Son shows a sleeping me (cute, eh?). What he doesn't know about that morning is that before I fell asleep I had meditated for maybe ten or fifteen minutes. I had my "Chemo Control" system well in place and could trust it enough that I could nap.

One think that I want to mention at the get-go of my Blog is that a lot of what I did during my treatment will likely not be listed under "Standard Care". A friend calls it my "Woo-Eee" stuff. Some of it goes "Out There" pretty far. If you want to hear about it, please let me know. The more support I have, the more I'll feel like saying.


At 4:18 PM, Blogger ronnie said...

Hi, "Mom"! Welcome to the blogsphere! You're off to an amazing start - your description of receiving chemo is riveting. You have so much to tell us - whether it's about chemo or fixing holes in the roof - and I look forward to being a regular reader. Hope the roof turns out okay! - Ronnie


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